Really bummed. Just sat here and looked through all my digitized photos, trying to find a picture of my sister Marci that really shows the essence of her personality. Unfortunately I was unsuccessful. One of my biggest regrets in life is not having had the chance to have made just one portrait of her.
I can't help but wonder what that photo would look like. Would I crack a joke, and grab one of her beautiful smiles? Or would I get one of those deep, serious looks I get from my daughter as well?
I also can't help but wonder what she’d say about the work we do. Would she be proud? What advice would she give me about this business we are trying to build? She always had the best damn advice, and knew how to put me in my place when I was being stupid, or not seeing the whole picture.
She is still a major source of inspiration for me. I look back at the short life she lived and I remember to try and live each day the best I can, and try to enjoy the time I have right now. I’m not sad for her that she’s gone. I know she always worried about her deteriorating health, and didn’t want to grow crooked and disabled from her afflictions. She may have lived a shorter life than most of us would like, but she LIVED that damn life every day. I’m not sad for the life she missed, because I truly feel her life could not have been more fuller, but I know my own life will never be as full without her in it.
Those of you that know me, know I’m a jokester, and live for making people laugh, but I never felt closer to anyone than when I made Marci laugh, and I could always get a smile and a laugh out of her.
Funny how self-centered we are. I go for weeks, sometimes months without thinking about my sister, then out of the blue I found myself wanting to reach out to her…mostly when I have a problem I can’t figure out, or when I feel overwhelmed. But then, we never truly appreciate what we have until we no longer have it.
Okay, sorry, didn’t mean to bum anyone out. Marci would slap me if she saw me sitting here crying like a buffoon as I write this. But like I said, I don’t weep for her, I weep for those of us that have to live without her. Today is just another reminder of how short life truly is, and tomorrow I will wake up and do my best to live my life to it’s fullest in hopes of honoring her and all the others who’ve gone before us.
Couldn’t find a photo OF her that really captured her personality, but I found a photo that makes me really think of her. My dear mother describes Marci as a hummingbird, because she was never still. We seldom saw her, and when we did, it wasn’t for long because she always had somewhere to go, something to do, but I’m glad she did because she was able to pack a lot of life in to just a few years.
Happy Birthday Mouse, I love you and miss you more every day. I hope that wherever you are, you still flit around just as much as you did when you were with us.
Remember, people, life is short. Love those that matter to you, and pack as much life into each day as you can.